The importance of MUTUAL RESPECT for couples who work together

Couples who work together can go either one of two ways – it can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience – or it can be downright disastrous!

Me and my man, we are about to have that theory tested out.

As a couple, whom have been together for fifteen odd years, me and my partner have come a long way from where we once use to be. In the past, our relationship was very volatile.  Explosive arguments, fighting and scrapping it out was a regularity in probably the first ten years of our relationship.  I had a bad habit of running back and forth. which is what I did as recent as last year.  Domestic violence, jealousy, defensiveness, fighting for control, blaming, cheating – the whole she-bang – that was us.  Once upon a time.

But we have definitely turned over a new leaf.  The maturity in our relationship has finally ripened after some fifteen years together, and its been a beautiful thing to witness.  But more than that, the calmness in our relationship, as compared to what it use to be, is a beautiful thing to feel. We have been knocked about mercilessly by the tides of life, and yet, as a couple, we stand today more united than ever.  It’s not the good times that have made us stronger but, rather, how we have carried each other through the bad times.

We are not sure how we have survived this long.  But I am grateful that we have.  We have a lot of hurt in our past that still needs to heal and, as we step into  entrepreneurship, this is becoming more evident to me.

The reason I say this is because me and my partner have always been, and probably always will be, total opposites.  We cannot change who we are at our core, or we would have done so by now – fifteen years later.  Although we share so much in common in terms of what we both want out of life, the way we operate as individuals clash, big time.

For example, I’ve always lived my life through emotion and instinct.  These two things run deep in me.  I’m the type of person that makes decisions based on how it ‘feels’ rather than how it looks on the outside.  Empathy is something I have always identified as one of my strongest attributes – an attribute gauged from a difficult childhood, I would say.  When I network, I analyze the energy of a person, rather than how they are portraying themselves – and read between the lines, rather than listen, and take from what is being said.  When I communicate, I tend to communicate very passionately, especially if its something I’m really into.  This is something I have trained myself to keep in check, as it took me a while to realize that it can sometimes be a bit too much for some to take.  A lot of the time, I have foot and mouth disease, and tend to blurt things out without much thought to the consequences. Further more, I have a ground-breaking record for jumping the gun, and diving head first into things that I probably shouldn’t.  From this, I have learnt some pretty painful life lessons, but believe myself to be a bit wiser because of it.

Now, my partner on the other hand, is absolutely NOTHING like me.  We are chalk and cheese.  Night and day.  Yin and Yang. The keyword with my partner is ‘logical.’  Whereas I am a feeler, he is a thinker.  My man is very strict – a trait I believe he picked up whilst training as an army cadet – and he has a no-nonsense approach to most things in life.   He is analytical of a situation judging by whats happening ‘on the surface,’ and rarely bothers with whats going on underneath, or behind it.  At times, I feel he can come across as very judgemental, as to him, there is only right – and there is wrong.  That is all.  There is no in between.  His discipline and focus when it comes to work, finances and routine, is rock solid, and he is extremely cautious when it comes to making decisions.  He can be witty and intelligent in conversation, and at times, even commanding.

In business, our differences can work either for, or against us.  But seeing as both of our walls are slowly, but surely, crumbling down, I’m making my bet today, on the 11th of January 2017.  That although it is going to be a challenge – it is absolutely going to work for us.

I have  always believed my partner to have the discipline, commitment and focus required to be a great businessman.  Furthermore, he is excellent with money.  Now, if he takes the time to understand people  then he can achieve great things, as it is people that we need to create a sustainable business.  Which is where I come in, as observing, understanding  and empathizing with people is my forte.

On the other hand, I am learning, from my partner, to exert discipline, practice routine, and be organized.  He is teaching me, through example, that the trivialities of life really do not matter and, now that we have our eye on bigger and better things, it is time to leave all that behind.  I am learning, swiftly, that I don’t necessarily need to look into the depths of every single person or situation, and that sometimes, it is good to just step back, take it for what it is, and leave it be.

I think it all comes back to the basics of any relationship, really.  Which is mutual respect for each others differences.  We are at a point in life where, for once, we are on the same page.  We find ourselves trying to talk an issue out, rather than overpower and dominate the other.  We attempt to understand each others point of view, rather than bite and point and blame.  We are both open-minded to learning as much as we can from each other, and growing as individuals, which, in turn, is going to help us grow our business.

It’s a great start. I feel confident that we are onto something good here.

The best thing about all this is that me and my partner, although chalk and cheese, we share similar strengths that are definitely going to help us along our journey.  We are both extremely determined individuals.  And we both have unshakeable focus when it comes to doing what is best for our family.  At the end of the day, it is love – and family that has kept us together.  And it is love and family that, no matter the trials and tribulations, is going to help us see this thing through to its inevitable conclusion.




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